25 Days of Douchebaggery: Day 25: Everyone is Santa Claus


Today is the day. It’s the day where millions upon millions of people the world over will exchange gifts and words of kindness whether they’re religious or not. Unfortunately most of the credit will go to a mythical old, obese man in a red and white suit who enslaves midgets to assemble presents for the world. Yes, I’m talking about the one and only Santa Claus. So many people perpetuate this idea that Santa has this naughty and nice list that judges children all year long and as long as they aren’t a bunch of little assholes, they’ll get what their heart desires. What they aren’t told is how Santa is really their mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles and anyone else that happened to work their asses off to provide awesome gifts and meals to those who are eagerly waiting. I know that so many of you want the allure of Santa to remain a mystery for children but think about how much more respect would be given to friends, family and the loved ones to saved to buy or worked to create thoughtful gifts to those they deemed worthy? We should all learn to start cutting out the middle man that is Santa Claus and stand behind our purchases and gift giving this holiday season and all that follow! Unless you’re giving some completely shitty gift. Then that was totally Santa.

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