25 Days of Douchebaggery: Day 21: Bad Ass (and Easy) Holiday Gifts

boozeIt’s coming to the end of the holiday season and once again you’re down to the wire, not knowing what to get friends and loved ones for their respective holiday they celebrate. Instead of being that unoriginal jackass that gives everyone some shitty gift card to Applebees’s, I’ve come up with some gift ideas that will make you the hero of the holidays and everyone else will compliment you on your bad-assery.

Booze. Can you think of a better way to make it through the season? While everyone is singing and dancing around, cramming their cheer up your ass, you can at the very least wrap up some awesome bottles of your own happiness and deliver them to those who need it most. Whether it be combating unruly relatives or the long, dark winter that lies in the months ahead, supplying some liquid courage to those who need it most can make you more loved and revered than Ole Saint Nick will ever be.

burgerFood. If you have a horrible imagination and can’t think of a present to get someone, cook some shit! Seriously, it’s almost a no brainer to look up an awesome recipe with enough bacon, salt and maybe even some chocolate to leave even the most horrible Scrooge in a fantastic mood. Whether it’s dinner or dessert, fattening up someone so they can pass out and hibernate through the winter.

board gamesBoard games. What comes to mind as the best way to escape the horrors of ordinary life better than gather around a table with people you don’t hate, drink, snack and have some old fashioned fun that doesn’t include a glowing TV screen that will melt your eyes within their sockets? In the days after playing all of those Milton Bradley games that made you want to forsake your friends and wear the faces of those you’ve conquered, there are endless kinds of games for every kind of person. From rolling some dice to going on a tabletop adventure, it’s never a bad idea to go old school every now and again.

Whatever the idea is that you come up with, remember that this is the season of giving and if you’re not happy about who you’re dishing out your hard earned loot to, then just buy yourself cool shit and skip the drama!

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