The Ghostbusters 30th anniversary is upon us and while it makes me tingle with goose bumps about fun childhood memories, it also reminds how fucking old I am. Yeah I grew up in the 80s when kids actually used their imaginations to have fun and play outside and all of that other crap. Today’s kids sit on their ass locked in their bedrooms Skyping or Facetiming or whatever the hell it is they do.
Since I was but an overgrown little boy when Ghostbusters was the most popular shit on TV, I grew up thinking the cartoons came first and then some genius decided to make a live action movie out of it. “Brilliant,” I thought! If real people could be Ghostbusters than hot damn I could be a Ghostbuster too. Bill Murrary, Dan Akroyd and Harold Ramis brought my dream to life, except that I totally thought the cartoon was still way better. Seeing the Stay Puft Marshallow Man tear up Manhattan was pretty bad-ass but he was just one big soft, fluffy baddie while the cartoons had a different ghost that got his ass kicked every Saturday. Plus there was Slimer. I mean who doesn’t love a giant green glob of ghost who shoves every bit of junk food in his face.
I wish there was an anniversary for the cartoon because that’s what this is all about. While the movies are awesome and I love watching them whenever they’re on TV, it’s the cartoon that people my age remember. And that’s where the company got a shit load of its money from. Ghostbusters toys were huge and I was one of those dumbass kids that had to have every freaking toy they came out with. I’m pretty sure my parents wanted to kick me out and make me get a job so I could start buying this crap for myself. I remember when I got the Ghostbusters house play set for Christmas. My parents didn’t even wrap it but put brown paper bags. I was happier than a pig in shit. I had almost ever variation of the Peter Venkman action figures. Yes, action figures. I did not play with dolls.
The Holy Grail of Ghostbuster toys were the proton packs, ghost traps, ghost finder thingie, the cool goggles and the costume. Many a fights broke out between me and my cousins over who got to use what when playing Ghostbusters. We probably kicked each other ass’s more than we kicked some imaginary ghost ass. I remember I had the proton pack that was in the second Ghostbusters movie that shot out the pink slime. Thinking about it now, I probably seemed like a little pervert running around shooting my giant pink dong at things. Yes kiddies, those were the good old days.
Thank you Ghostbusters for hours of entertainment and teaching me how to shoot my load at an early age.