Selfies

CameraObscuraA selfie is a picture taken by the subject of the shot. In technical terms it is a fascinating feat for mankind. Way back in about 400 BCE when the camera obscura was invented, humans would enjoy the visual pleasure of a distorted reality. By rotating the light of its surroundings 180 degrees, the camera obscura gave viewers a chance to see something with no physical matter; an opportunity to discover one of the universe’s many wonders. The dreamers of that era longed for new inventions to take them on similar jouney’s to that of the camera obscura. If they were alive today, they would be taken by joy and awe at the technology available. The technology today allows us to observe the universe and its mind-boggling splender. Yet, what do most people do with the electronic tools available to them? They take mother fuckin’ selfies.

HoneyBooBooThe least interesting aspect of the universe is the one who views it. Everybody on this planet is a clump of bio matter controlled by a savage dance of neuron connections located in the brain. Taking a picture of the flesh that conceils this neuron headquarters is like Honey Boo Boo training for the Special Olympics; a waste of time with no positive outcome insight. Selfies do nothing to better or advance one’s experience. Instead, what it does is send a message to other brains that you are desperate and horny for the flesh of animals like yourself. Once two animals have physical contact, the brains of those animals send out hormones to flood their respective reproductive systems. Once enough hormones have been released, the two animals savagely thrust their bodies against one another. Nine months (and possibly a reality TV show deal) later, and a new animal is born. What is that animal? It is a clump of bio matter controlled by a savage dance of neuron connections. The brain has won. While the host of the original brain dies, the brain itself is reborn in the offspring and continues an eternal cycle. In this battle, your brain makes you look pathetic. More pathetic than ninth President of the United States of America William Henry Harrison (he died of a cold while in office).

SelfieSo while you thought taking a duck-faced selfie was cute and would get you noticed by other sexually depraved animals, it was actually free advertising for your brain to abuse your existence. Say no to selfies and you can turn the table (such a weird expression) on them. Use technology to explore the grandiosity of the universe and make your brain work for you. Make your brain see ghost-like images produced by a camera obscura. Make your brain see the complexity of a molecule. Make your brain see the stunning textures of distant galaxies. Make your brain…. into your bitch.

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