25 Days of Douchebaggery: Day 24: Forget The Holidays

cancelled christmasTonight’s the night. Last minute shopping chaos is winding down. Travelers are balls deep in their cross-country excursions to see friends and loved ones. It’s the eve of one of the largest cluster fucks the year has to offer. Amid the holiday season, while music and cheer are being shoved down your throat, unrealistic gift buying expectations and those unruly relatives that have invaded your home for the week, remember to take a step back from it all and reevaluate the season.

Even before Thanksgiving, the holidays have been bashing on your doors and in your face, urging you to spend your money and give up your time because “tis the season.” Supposedly this is the time of year people are meant to be selfless and look out for their fellow man. Differences should be set aside and the spirit of Christmas should fill your heart and you should be happy. Maybe I’m just too cynical for this, but November and December are too of the most stressful months of the year for me. So much emphasis is put on buying the perfect gift and making some elaborate dinner and saving face in front of some people who, more likely than not, don’t deserve your hospitality. So instead of driving yourself insane and going postal over a botched Christmas ham, there is a much simpler solution: forget the holidays.

anti-christmas-films-trading-placesJust like anything else in life, if you’re not enjoying yourself then just stop what you’re doing and switch gears. Is the thought of decorating your house and setting up a tree stressing you out to the point of losing sleep? Don’t do it. Are you dreading having your family over, just to be criticized and be left to clean a house left in in ruin? Opt out of having guests. Are you tired of being corrected on the phrase of “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays?” Don’t say anything to anyone. There isn’t some unwritten rule that you have to buy into the holidays and participate in everything that is going on around you. And for anyone who tries to call you out on being a “scrooge” can kindly be reminded where they can stick their candy canes this time of year.

antiChristmasTreeDecember is coming to an end. Another year has come and gone. Once tomorrow passes and Christmas is buried six feet under for another 364 days, you can take a breath of fresh air and decide whether or not you care to buy into all of this when that time comes. If Christmas (or any other holiday for that matter) isn’t your thing, they feel free to say no, eat Chinese food and go to a movie. Stay in bed, wake up and go about your life without the expectations of having to be a happy, smiling asshole just because the holiday deems it necessary. With all of that said, also do what makes you happy and make the best of a day that is yours. If you have it off, do your best to not be miserable and do the things that make you happy. Fuck everything that doesn’t.

Have a happy non-holiday!


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