How James Franco Made Me Want A Monkey

So I went to see the new “Oz” movie. Don’t worry this isn’t going to be a review. The movie was okay. That’s it. I’m here to tell you about my favorite part of the movie. This movie took something I love and made it even better.

I want a monkey. Monkeys are cool. I mean if Mike Jackson could have one, then you know I want one too. So with that established, let me delve into how the movie makes monkeys even better. TALKING MONKEYS! Not only that but talking monkeys that fly. What the heck in this world could be better than that? Nothing I tell you.

So the flying, talking monkey in the movie is named Finley. And he wears a little bell-hop suit. And he’s sarcastic and witty. He’s everything I could ever want in a monkey. Monkeys are so freaking awesome.

Talking animals just make movies better. “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” is a good movie but Aslan makes that movie soooo much better. A gigantic, talking lion that spits out wisdom like Yoda and kicks all kinds of ass just the same. Yeah buddy!

The “Shrek” trilogy is great, I love the movies. You know what makes those movies even better?A slick-talking donkey who sounds like Eddie Murphy. Donkey is absolutely the best part of the Shrek films because he is talking donkey. And he’s funny as shit. And everyone knows that donkey is the best part of the movie too.

One of the best 80’s cartoons ever was based on a bunch of talking reptiles. Of course I’m talking about the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!” Would the show have been half as good with regular people, hell no! Every little boy wanted some ooze to become a turtle because turtles were freaking awesome. And they loved pizza and spit out words like “Cowabunga” and “Turtle Power.” Yes, yes and more yes please.

I’ll still stick with my flying, talking monkey Finley. He’s the man, bestie for life. I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. Talking animals are kick ass. Especially if they fly. And wear a bell-hop suit. Go check out my man Finley. Smell ya later.

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