Over the past 24 days, we’ve been ranting and raving about what sucks huge dicks about the holidays and the things we can do to make the season move along faster. What we have yet to touch base on is why this time of year really isn’t as bad as some people make it out to be. Sure, there are a multitude of reasons that people should shun their fellow man and say fuck it for the last week of the year. But, in a fit of insanity, I’m going to do my best impression of an optimist and spew out a sporadic list of why you should enjoy this one day out of the year. Here we fucking go:You’re not dead. Someone out there might actually care about you. You have access to the internet to read this shit. No one’s tried to cut your head off for believing what you believe. Your family isn’t as crazy as you think they are. You’re more than likely about to eat more than anyone in a 3rd world country ever will in their lifetimes. You aren’t as much of an asshole as me on your worst day.
Those are just a few of the reasons you should make the best of whatever situation you happen to be fortunate or shit out of luck to be dealing with. If you have nothing positive to say today, give the gift of silence and let others enjoy this awesome day without your unfortunate face to mess everything up. Thank you again for hanging out with all of us here on TwoGuysOneMic.com over the past few weeks and we can’t wait to ruin your holiday season next year and many to follow.
Be safe, happy holidays and Merry Fucking Christmas