Where Have All the Boobs Gone?

Not even a set of big boobs in there, those aren’t good odds.

I started school roughly three weeks ago and I’m noticing a dreadful trend, there are very few girls with big boobs anywhere. I don’t know what’s going on but this trend is definitely disturbing.

I’ll admit I’m a boob guy to begin with so my preference is for them to be on the larger side, D-cups are my best friend! I’m not saying that I don’t see a ton of D-cup women walking around but what I am seeing is a bunch of girls who still need training bras.

I feel like every where I turn I see an 18 or 19 year old girl with the body of a 7-year-old boy. What the hell is going on! It’s like God is playing some twisted trick on all men to see how long we can go without big boobs.

The sad part is that this body type is becoming the norm in society. Look at all the celebrities and models we put on pedestal: Jessica Alba, Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz and Gisele Bundchen. While these are all beautiful women, like the old saying goes “a dog likes a little meat on his bones.”

All through history there have been famous women with ample cleavage.Raquel Welch, Marilyn Monroe, Jenny McCarthy and possibly the most famous of big boobs stardom, Pamela Anderson. Don’t get me wrong, we have some women in Hollywood like that now with Sofia Vergara and Christine Hendricks. But they’re the exception rather than the rule.


Flotation devices included upon purchase

So what the hell does this have to do with girls, sorry, women that I see around my college. Only fucking everything. You see, if these famous women are flaunting bodies that are like a fucking ironing board, regular women think that’s a good look and try to look like that.

Or it could be genetics. How fucked up would that be? Evolution is slowly weeding out big boobs. That’s an idea so freaking crazy I can’t even wrap my head around it. Just another way science is ruining everything for men.

Like I said earlier, it could be God screwing with men. I have no freaking clue why this would be happening. Maybe he got tired of watching us blow each other up and just decided “fuck it, let’s get rid of huge boobs and see what happens.” This would be the worst of all scenarios because it just proves that God loves women more than men.

Big boobs serve a larger purpose (no pun intended) than just to stare at when women mindlessly drone on about stupid crap. They’re pillows to lay our heads on after a hard day of killing dragons in Skyrim. Everyone knows that the bigger the boobs the more milk they provide for babies. (okay I’m making that one up but it does make perfect sense in a way) They’re flotation devices in case of a boat capsizing or a plane crash. 

What’s that you say? she has pretty face and a sense of humor too, I didn’t even notice!

So you see, big boobs aren’t just for men, they benefit the whole world. It’s a dang shame that something is going on in the world that is depriving us of this great treasure. Get the word out, #morebigboobs2012!!!

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One thought on “Where Have All the Boobs Gone?

  1. Dude! Where there is less fat, there is less boob. simple as that!
    So if society continous to prefer skinny women and treats everyone with a normal size or a little fat as outcasts with bad career opportunities there will be no boobs left – except fake ones.

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