Game Review: Dead Island

The other day I happened to be browsing my local Gamestop and noticed that a ton of games had recently gone on sale. In all honesty, I hate buying new games unless I know its going to be badass. $60 is a decent amount of loot to be dropping on something that will better serve as a coaster for a cold beverage. So while browsing some sales, I came across a game at came out not too long ago but my busy ass never got around to checking out: Dead Island.

The story revolves around a number of people trapped on an island resort in Papua New Guinea the night after a zombie outbreak. Throughout the game, you’ll be asked by various NPC’s to help them gather supplies, rescue family members and just straight up stomp the faces in of flesh-eating cannibals for rewards ranging from experience to cash to awesome weapons. Now before you go ahead and dismiss this as another first person zombie shooter, this is actually quite different than most of the boring shit you’ll play this year, just for the simple fact that it’s realistic and 90% of the game is melee combat.

Even though most of the game is spent beating down bitches with crowbars, machetes,  barbed wire baseball bats and canoe paddles, the game still manages to hold your attention for long periods of time. The developer, Techland, did an amazing job with hiring voice actors for the NPC’s throughout the game. Sure, some end up being completely annoying or completely ridiculous, but that’s what makes the game. Oh, and the fact that it’s completely open world, four player co-op and the maps are fucking enormous! And its a goddamn RPG! So, as you level your character up, you allocate different points in a pretty straight forward skill tree, which is always fun.

When a battery attached to a machette actually comes in handy


While you go and read other reviews of the game (because seriously, who actually listens to my bullshit), remember not to sweat the petty things (or pet the sweaty things). Sure, this game is far from perfection, but what game is actually perfect? It managed to hold my attention for well over 10 hours and it features a survival style arena that I am sure will garner my attention once the campaign is through (that shit costs extra though). People have bitched about how there are indoor rendering problems with graphics and other nonsense. Well then why don’t you go make a fucking game about killing zombies on a resort island? Left 4 Dead’s graphics were less than fantastic and people managed to grow huge boners while playing it.  Critics end up bitching too much and it really hurts games such as this one from ever being considered by gamers who are looking for the “perfect” experience. But we’ll save that debate for another day.

Not even this shit could save Nintendo

So, in between trolling online forums and your rampant porn addiction, please take some time to check out Dead Island. Not too many games can replicate the dread of fighting a group of zombies, armed with nothing but a kitchen knife and baseball bat, all the while searching for some cracked out chick’s stuffed teddy bear (I can’t make this shit up). It’s available on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC because let’s face it, the Wii you wasted 15 hours waiting in line for a few years ago now better serves as a backstop for your bathroom door.

Hoping and dreaming Nintendo dies in its sleep,

Jersey John

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