25 Days of Douchebaggery: Day 24

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Tonight’s the night. You’re preparing for raging family members to come over and wreck you house for the entire weekend. All those last minute gifts you didn’t wrap and you’re all out of fucks to give. And not before long, that jolly fat bastard will be busting into your house and leaving you taking the heat for giving shitty presents.

For all those who are unaware, this is one of America’s most vulnerable nights of the year. NORAD (the U.S.’s missile defense system), while it is usually keeping our badass country safe from crazy nuke-wielding maniacs year ’round is now tracking Old Saint Kick across the night sky. Now, one must wonder whether the United States considers Santa a novelty that family and friends will love to see make his travels on the Eve of Christmas or if they don’t trust if that sleigh isn’t filled with heat-seeking rockets that will be sure to rein fire on your holiday celebration.

Either way, if you’re someone who actually cares where Santa is tonight while you watch A Christmas Story for the 600th time in your life time, check this out:


One more day until this crap is over with…

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