When I was a kid, one of the things that always got me excited about the holidays was the traditional food that my family had. The honey ham, baked ziti and reindeer pâté. Wait, what?
That’s right! A store in the U.K. is selling canned reindeer meat just in time for the holidays! This has a whole bunch of crazies from VIVA (Vegetarians International Voice for Animals) up in arms, because shooting cows in the head with a nail gun apparently isn’t a cool enough cause to fight for anymore. And even if you were feeling particularly adventurous this season, that shit is ALL sold out.
So when you’re driving around on Christmas Eve and you happen to see a fat, bearded white dude driving around in a U-haul delivering presents door to door, it’s because British people without souls ate his primary means of transportation.