25 Days of Douchebaggery: Day 16

Day 6

“Toys That Will Kill Your Kids”

You just want to be jolly and giving by going out and buying youngsters toys for Christmas. This is the one day a year kids live for, not really. You know your kids are butt plugs all year long up until December 1st, just admit it. 24 Days before Christmas kids slap a grin on their face and bust out all the proper etiquette you taught them but they choose not to ever use, (until December) This year when you’re out buying gifts, whether your love your kids or not, make sure they’re not made using date rape drugs and lead. That’s right, GHB and motha fuckin LEAD. Hey, your kids just hanging out making some brownies in the easy bake oven, look over to them 5 minutes later and all that’s left is their charred remains. Now not every defective toy kills, there are also some that curse and scream death threats to your children when you’re not around. Parents blame video games for teen violence but maybe it’s their toddler toys screaming “KILL JAMES!” or the toy phone that says “Mother fucker!”

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